I recently sat down with St. Canards most wanted criminal, Negaduck, to get a better understanding of how he operates. I have been sworn to secrecy as to the whereabouts of his hideout.
So, Negaduck, tell me, how does it feel to be so wanted?
"Pretty damn great," he replies while filling a chainsaw with gasoline. "Half the city wants to catch me and put me behind bars."
Now, I know for a fact that you've been behind bars before.
"Yeah, no thanks to you," he glares at me.
Surely thats not the only time you've been caught.
"Its not, but I'm pretty damn bitter about that."
You're able to command four of St. Canards top criminals. Hows that feel?
"I see you're changing the subject," he smirks. "And those knobs barely pass as criminals."
Not pleased with your own gang, I take it.
"Depends, how pleased would you be with my chainsaw up your ass?"
I will pass, but thank you. You're not making this interview very easy.
He grins, before setting his chainsaw aside and leaning back in his chair, feet propped up on the desk in front of him. "I told you it wouldn't be easy," he says to me. "You're the one that was so insistent on doing it."
I figured getting an interview with St. Canards most wanted was something no one else had ever done. Tell me, how do you feel when people compare you to Darkwing Duck.
He growls, taking his feet off the desk and leaning forward, "I will personally murder anyone who compares me to that caped bafoon. You don't compare us, do you Elizabeth?"
Of course not. I told you once before that you're more attractive than he is.
He smirks and sits back again. "Your husband know you got the hots for me?"
He does now, I'm the one that supposed to be asking the questions here.
"So far you've just asked a bunch of stupid questions."
Give me a break, I'm still a junior journalist. How do you manage to outsmart Darkwing and avoid capture so many times.
"By not being stupid," he replies, tapping the side of his head. "And by leaving those knobs of mine to be the bait."
You're kind of a jerk.
"And you're kind of an idiot."
Negaduck, this is supposed to be an interview. With all that money you steal, why not buy yourself a better hideout?
"And draw the attention of that dimwitted counterpart of mine? Besides, I got a hideout, its just not here. This is just where I hang out when I am here."
So you're the most wanted, you command four top criminals, you have the entire city trembling in fear, you must feel on top of the world.
"Mostly, there is one person not trembling in fear though."
Who? Me?
"Well, two people I suppose, you and Amy, but especially you. I must have lost my touch."
I don't think your touch has anything to do with it, I've already told you why I'm not afraid of you.
"Yeah you want to save me from myself or some bullshit like that."
Someone has to. I think thats enough questions. Thank you for sitting down and talking to me. I'm probably gonna be the first journalist to get a one on one interview with you.
"You have connections," he replies. "Don't think I'm doing this for you, I'm doing it because I want St. Canard to know I'm still around and they have a lot to fear."
Of course.
I found Negaduck to be pretty despicable, though he had a certain charm to him. Not an easy person to interview, but he was willing to answer my questions. After the interview, he showed me his collection of weaponry and pointed a shotgun at my head. But thats Negaduck for you. Do I believe the people of St. Canard have anything to fear? Most definitely. Negaduck is not someone you want to cross. Do I fear him? No, I don't, for reasons only a few people know.
Next week I will be sitting down with Negaducks gang and learning just how they deal with working under such a tyrant. This is Liza Quackford for the St. Canard Tribune.