>>Start Reading Now
Liz: Okay, we're reading.
Negs: Must we?
Liz: You like the emails, Negs.
Negs: You like my chainsaw up your ass, Liz.
QJ: Stop hitting on my wife.
Negs: Bite me, clown.
>>Do not miss this opportunity!
Negs: To kill Darkwing Duck and take over St. Canard.
QJ: To get revenge on Whiffle Boy
Licky: To squash the competitors.
Reg: To save the rain forest.
Amy: To not have to baby sit you lot.
Liz: Hey, I'm mature.
Amy: You're almost as bad as Quacky sometimes.
>>Why?
Amy: Because shes 24 but acts like shes 15 half the time.
Liz: This is because of the video games and the way I dress, isn't it?
Megavolt: Don't forget the anime and manga.
Negs: You do dress like a circus freak.
Liz: No, thats QJ.
QJ: You LIKE the way I dress!
Liz: Yes I do.
>>Because, great events are about to unfold, in your very near future!
Negs: Killing Darkwing and taking over St. Canard?
Megavolt: I'll free all enslaved appliances?
Amy: You guys will never do any of those things.
Negs: I will kill you.
Amy: Empty threats, Negs. Then you'd have to count your own money.
Megavolt: Shes got a point.
Negs: *growls*
>>If you have missed out on LUCK, MONEY, LOVE or AN HARMONIOUS FAMILY,
Liz: I have all of those things, though this family could use a little more harmony.
Negs: You could use a little more chainsaw in the face.
Reg: I missed out on love.
Negs: Cause you're a vegetable.
Liz: He is not! Hes a Lycium Nycanthropus.
Reg: Thank you, Liz.
>>I can tell you,
Licky: This is a scam.
Liz: Really? You think so?
QJ: Seems legit to me.
Megavolt: Me too.
Amy: You guys aren't too bright when it comes to scams, are you?
Liz: No, they're not.
>>that you must prepare yourself
Negs: For my chainsaw in your face.
Liz: How does one prepare for that?
Negs: You wanna find out, Liz?
QJ: You wanna stop flirting with my wife?
Negs: You want chainsaw in the face too, clown?
Amy: Do I have to put you both in separate rooms?
>>for the huge changes that are on the way.
Liz: The guys will suddenly reform?
Amy: We can only dream.
Negs: Keep dreaming, cause it ain't happenin'.
QJ: I'm sorta reformed.
Liz: Yeah, but not entirely. Reg could reform if he could find love.
Reg: Maybe this email could help with that.
Negs: You're an idiot.
>>Although it may seem incredible, in only a few seconds you will receive,
Negs: My chainsaw in your face.
Liz: You really like your chainsaw.
Negs: I do. Its my favorite weapon.
Amy: He sleeps with it next to his bed.
Liz: El sleeps with a toaster.
Megavolt: Her name is Cindy, thank you very much.
Amy: *sighs*
>>entirely and at no charge, everything you need,
Licky: No charge? Wheres the fun in that?
Reg: Some people like doing nice things for others?
Negs: Some people are stupid fucks.
Liz: Reg is the only nice guy here.
Reg: Is that nice guy, or NICE guy?
Liz: NICE guy.
QJ: What about me? I'm nice too.
Liz: You are when you're not bent on revenge.
>>to receive happiness, especially financially.
Negs: I got a shit ton of loot in the backroom, I think I'm good financially.
Liz: At least until Darky shows up and takes it all back.
Megavolt: Man, that guy just shows up everywhere.
Liz: Be glad hes never decided to follow me to the hideout.
Negs: You ever lead that caped bafoon here and I will murder you personally.
>>For this to happen, you only need to do one thing:
Liz: Pay up.
Licky: I like her.
Reg: We all like her.
Negs: Pfft!
Liz: You like me, Negs, you just don't like to admit it.
QJ: He likes you too much.
Negs: I tolerate her.
QJ: I think you more than tolerate her.
Negs: Nope. Just tolerate.
>>Request my extraordinary secrets that will give you all you need.
Liz: I got all I need. Two great jobs, great friends, a great husband.
Negs: If I could get rid of you knobs and Dorkwing, I'd have all I need.
Amy: I'd have all I need if I wasn't baby sitting all the time.
Reg: Not all of us are immature.
Amy: No, you and Licky are pretty okay.
Negs: Just Veggie and Waterboy?
Amy: Well, you're more mature than the other three.
Liz/QJ/Megs: HEY!
>>My secrets will enable you to
Licky: Destroy competitors.
Negs: Take over St. Canard.
Liz: Why stop there? Go for the world.
Negs: Good idea. Take over the world.
Amy: Liz, stop giving him ideas.
>>take this chance and I will send everything to you ... at no cost!
Liz: No cost doesn't sound fun for the person sending the email.
Licky: I know, right?
Megavolt: Everything I need, huh? Revenge on Darkwing Duck and all appliances free from their cruel overlords.
Amy: Elmo, stop trying to talk my fridge into going home with you.
Negs: Everything I want would be getting rid of you knobs and killing Dipwing.
Liz: You'd be lost without us, Negs.
Negs: You think that, until you're taking a chainaw to the face.
>>I urge you not to wait any longer!
Licky: Because supplies are running out.
QJ: What is this even an email for?
Liz: Tarot card reading.
QJ: You can already do that.
Liz: I'm still just practicing.
Negs: Whats my future say, Liz?
Liz: It says you need to shut up.
Negs: Funny, your future says you're gonna die soon.
>>My Best Wishes,
Chris, Tarot Reader - Psychic Medium - Parapsychologist
Chris
Negs: Why did he write his name twice?
Reg: Maybe he wanted to make sure we know who he is.
Megavolt: I always want people to know who I am.
Amy: You can't even remember your own name sometimes.
Liz: Thats what hes got us for.
Reg: This guy seems to have a lot of skills.
Liz: Right? Hes a tarot reader, psychic medium, and a parapsychologist.
QJ: Liz is only learning tarot.
Negs: Are we finished?
Liz: Until I find some more.
-Finis-