I THINK this was an email ad for Cialis... given the image that came with it, but really, who the hell knows? Its so damn confusing, but totally hilarious.
*An image appears on the screen. Its a man and woman embracing with text that reads "Show your girlfriend what a real sex is like. $2.40 Order Cialis."*
Negs: Damn... are we doing this shit again?
Liz: Yep!
Amy: *tilts head to the side* Somethings wrong with that picture up there.
Negs: Maybe the fact that it says "a real sex". Not "real sex", but "a real sex".
Megavolt: As opposed to those fake sexes.
Licky: Gender unknown!
>>Good day, Denise
QJ: Howdy!
Amy: Hi there.
Negs: Piss off.
Liz: Yo, dawg! How it be hanging?
Megavolt: Whos Denise?
Liz: No clue. Maybe thats Negaducks real name.
Negs: Keep it up, Liz.
>>This will pull them.
Negs: What will pull who now?
Amy: Something tells me this is gonna be a doozy.
QJ: Rope. Rope will pull them.
Reg: Maybe pull means attract... like... attracting customers to a business.
Licky: Indeed!
Liz: This will attract them... WHAT will?
>>And do not worry.
Liz & QJ: *singing* Don't worry, be happy!
Negs: I'd be happy if we weren't sitting here reading this crap.
>>You and your head.
Negs: *glares* What about my head?
Liz: Its very handsome, just like the rest of you.
Negs: Thats what I thought.
Megavolt: I'm confused.
Amy: *pats* You usually are, dear. You usually are.
>>That should be Sordo.
Negs: That should be my chainsaw up the ass of whatever moron wrote this garbage.
Licky: Internet Gibberish: Making people say "WTF" since the invention of email.
Reg: What is this even meant to be for?
Liz: Well, according to that image up there, its an ad for Cialis.
Amy: Thats a... ED drug, isn't it?
Liz: You betcha!
>>Faut pas penser.
QJ: And a fine hoohah googly goo to you as well, sir!
Negs: Any of you knobs speak whatever language that is up there?
Liz: Its French, and the best translation I can give is... "Should not think".
Megavolt: As in, one should not think while reading this nonsense.
>>At the hour of our death.
Amy: Negaduck stood over us, chainsaw in hand, laughing maniacally.
Negs: She knows me so well.
Reg: Wait... wait, we're selling Cialis and now we're all dying?
Licky: May cause side effects.
>>We were all in bad shape.
Amy: Like I said, Negaduck was standing over us, chainsaw in hand, etc etc.
Reg: What does any of this have to do with whats being advertised?
Licky: This is an old business technique we call "Confusing the customer so they buy anything you shove at them".
Negs: That I'd believe.
>>Maria had not waked.
Liz: Well wake the lazy bitch up, its almost noon!
Licky: Super Strength Sleep-Aid. Do not drive or operate machinery after using.
Megavolt: Am I the only person here thats totally lost?
Amy: No, sweetheart, we're all lost.
>>But he had kept it.
Negs: In a vault that he thought no one could break into, but he hadn't met me yet.
Liz: Considering what this is supposed to be an ad for, do we really want whatever hes keeping?
>>He smiled in the dark.
Amy: Why does that sound like the lyric to a song?
Liz: It kinda does... I am going to write a song using that line.
Reg: He smiled in the dark... like umm, what rhymes with dark?
Liz: Hark, lark, mark...
Negs: He smiled in the dark cause his bullet made its mark. *snerk*
Liz: I like it!
>>Muck them to hell and always.
QJ: Yeah! Muck them! Muck them all to hell!
Megavolt: Muck you!
Liz: Muck you all, you mothermuckers!
Negs: Muck this shit!
>>That cannot be taken away nor lost.
Megavolt: Oh, everything can be lost. I once lost my car keys for a whole week and then found them in a bowl of pudding in the fridge.
Liz: Only you, El.
Licky: Lost your car keys? Can't find your cell phone or TV Remote? Try searching Megavolts refrigerator! Sucking up random items since 1991.
>>Suppose that is what it is for?
Liz: What, El's fridge? No, its for food! God, what are you, an idiot?
Megavolt: My fridge makes a nifty place to store shoes too. What with all those shelves and things.
Amy: Elmo, honey, we've talked about this. Shoes go in the closet, milk goes in the fridge.
QJ: I once knew a guy that kept a dead hamster in his freezer.
Liz: Ew!
QJ: He took it out once in a while and put on puppet shows with it.
Liz: Double ew!
>>This is serious Jordan.
QJ: Yeah, Jordan! Pay attention!
Liz: Sit up straight when grownups are talking to you.
Amy: Stop playing with your food!
Reg: And don't chew on the cat!
Negs: Considering this is meant to be a sex related ad, I think making a reference like that is kinda funny. Good call, weed.
Reg: *blush* I... I didn't mean it like that.
>>That was what he would do.
Negs: What, make a reference to eating pu--
Liz: NEGADUCK!
Negs: Whaaaaaat? We're all adults here... more or less.
Liz: Thats inappropriate.
Negs: So is your face, but you don't hear me complaining.
Amy: Knock it off, you two.
>>Then he looked up at the captain.
QJ: *as Scotty* Cap'n, she cannae take much more of this gibberish.
Liz: *as Kirk* No... we must... keep reading... it is of GREAT.... importance...
Amy: *as Spock* I find this email to be highly illogical, captain.
>>But the girls will tend to you.
Negs: You're goddamn right they will.
Liz: Not likely.
Amy: Yeah... do your own laundry.
>>Then the screen lit up again.
QJ: Who keeps turning on the TV?
Liz: *creepy voice* They're heeeeeeeeere.
Amy: TV people!
Megavolt: Shhh... they're trying to communicate. Yeah, yeah... uh huh... They say this email is full of crap and makes no sense whatsoever.
Liz: I agree with the TV people.
Reg: Thats uhh, thats not something I'd tell a lot of people.
>>Doubt me if you will.
Negs: I doubt your ability to write coherent sentences.
Reg: Liz, are you sure this is an ad for Cialis and not an ad for how NOT to write a novel?
Liz: At this point I'm not even sure anymore.
>>Abruptly he shifted the subject.
Licky: So! How 'bout this weather, huh?
Amy: Its cold.
QJ: Like Liz when its "that time".
Negs: HA!
Liz: You know what... muck you guys.
>>Even Chester grew nervous at this.
QJ: You are wise to be nervous, Chester. Liz is terrifying sometimes.
Liz: You're damn right I am.
Negs: You amuse me, girl. I think I'll keep you.
Liz: Aww shucks, Negaduck... you make a girl all giddy and whatnot.
>>The attempt had failed.
Negs: Probably because Dipwing Dork showed up and did his whole "I am the slime that sticks to your shoe" crap.
Megavolt: That guys always ruining everything.
Liz: Right, its not because you guys just have bad luck or anything.
QJ: What? Thats just silly.
Amy: Yeah, about as silly as a grown man running around in a mask and cape.
Negs: I wear a mask and cape!
Amy: I rest my case.
Negs: *growls*
>>Soon a magic wagon rolled up.
Licky: For all your magic needs!
Negs: I hope that thing isn't run by Morgana.
Megavolt: Now I'm REALLY confused! Where did that thing come from?
Reg: And what does it have to do with anything?
Liz: Every good story needs a little magic.
Negs: This is a good story?
Liz: Okay... every totally confusing email story needs a little magic.
>>Nobody there can help.
Negs: Now that I agree with!
Megavolt: Me too. This email is beyond help at this point.
>>Thus his enemy had scored.
Negs: I fucking told you Dipwing did it!
Reg: Umm... is that scored as in... scored a point, or scored as in...
Liz: Got him some bootay?
Reg: Er, not the words I'd have used, but okay.
Amy: Well... Liz said this was meant to be an ad for sex drugs or something.
Negs: That losers scoring and I'm not? What is wrong with this world?!
>>Bink’s blood pressure started building.
Amy: I think Neg's is too. He looks like hes about to pop a blood vessel or something.
Negs: I'm gonna pop something, but its not gonna be a blood vessel.
Liz: Like a cap in yo ass, muthamuckas.
>>My talent is never wrong.
Negs: Damn straight.
Liz: You have talent?
Negs: You didn't know? I'm a master seduction artist.
Liz: Oh yeah, thats right. And El is the Queen of England.
Megavolt: I am? Since when?
Amy: Let it go, honey.
>>It ruined our season.
Reg: Yeah, cold weather will do that.
Licky: Freezes crops too.
Liz: My poor azaleas!
>>Thats why he can laugh.
Negs: Because this shit is so damn hilarious.
QJ: Was that sarcasm?
Negs: No, and thats not my shotgun pointed at your head either.
>>And how could you climb up again?
Liz: With a ladder?
QJ: Rope?
Amy: What are we climbing up from?
QJ: Oh no! Did we fall down a well again? Someone get Lassie!
>>Bmk found it.
Liz: It was in El's fridge!
Amy: Next to the pudding!
QJ: With the lead pipe!
Liz: Wrong game, sweetheart.
Negs: Are we done now?
Liz: I think so. Any idea what all that was about?
Licky: Lessons on how NOT to write an ad for Cialis.
All: Agreed!
-Finis-